none
I'm worried .. and I'm scared ..
I want to cry but Im afraid to shed the tears ..
till when will it be like this? :(
I want to cry but Im afraid to shed the tears ..
till when will it be like this? :(
Uncertainty
I feel so lost right now ...
Not knowing what I want to do ..
Not knowing what I like to do ...
Knowing that my life is such a failure..
it hurts ...
People always say "It is okay to be lost once in a while" ..
but for me .. Im still lost for quite a long time ...
I really dont know what I want to do ..
I want more but how to achieve more?
Life is complicated ...
Not an easy smooth road for me ..
without a true skill and true ability ..
Im still floating in my own world ..
Not knowing what I want to do ..
Not knowing what I like to do ...
Knowing that my life is such a failure..
it hurts ...
People always say "It is okay to be lost once in a while" ..
but for me .. Im still lost for quite a long time ...
I really dont know what I want to do ..
I want more but how to achieve more?
Life is complicated ...
Not an easy smooth road for me ..
without a true skill and true ability ..
Im still floating in my own world ..
The Past
I am OK.
Awkward
Just came back from meeting up with my colleagues.
Where and what did we do?
First we've been walking aimlessly in the mall and besides that they're checking out a dress as well for a party.
Whenever I look at them.. i couldnt help it but to feel envy about their life and themselves.
I have to admit that my worst weakness is none other thn my confidence about myself.
People are saying that rather than disliking your distorts, turn to like them and it'll boost up your confidence level ... however ... for some reason .. I couldnt do that because I know how reality trates me all the while till now ... the distorts will always remain ...... and how can i like them??
Sigh ... they also did mention this .."do what you think is the best for yourself"
what is the best for myself? I couldnt even answer that ... pathetic .. that how I feel about myself at this moment. ....
"Learn how to live up your life" ... how can I do tht without any money?
how can I do that without my luck on my side?
"Start to date different guys" ... this is totally out of question ... no ONE ever going to set his eyes on me ... and in here we are back to the distorts part.
No GUY going to approach or hit on me ... it is reality and I know this well other than others ...
SIGH
they just dont understand ....
oh yeah .. i dont even understand myself how can they understand me?
...
Where and what did we do?
First we've been walking aimlessly in the mall and besides that they're checking out a dress as well for a party.
Whenever I look at them.. i couldnt help it but to feel envy about their life and themselves.
I have to admit that my worst weakness is none other thn my confidence about myself.
People are saying that rather than disliking your distorts, turn to like them and it'll boost up your confidence level ... however ... for some reason .. I couldnt do that because I know how reality trates me all the while till now ... the distorts will always remain ...... and how can i like them??
Sigh ... they also did mention this .."do what you think is the best for yourself"
what is the best for myself? I couldnt even answer that ... pathetic .. that how I feel about myself at this moment. ....
"Learn how to live up your life" ... how can I do tht without any money?
how can I do that without my luck on my side?
"Start to date different guys" ... this is totally out of question ... no ONE ever going to set his eyes on me ... and in here we are back to the distorts part.
No GUY going to approach or hit on me ... it is reality and I know this well other than others ...
SIGH
they just dont understand ....
oh yeah .. i dont even understand myself how can they understand me?
...
2009
Happy New Year 2009!
What did I achieve in year 2008?
Honestly, it was not a good year and also not that bad as well
So let just leave the past behind and look forward for another year ahead
New Year Resolution?
I have few in my mind;
1. Save up money and travel to Japan by end of year
2. Save up money and buy new laptop
3. Master and brush up my Japanese language skills
4. Become a better person in every single way
5. Settle the 'unfinished' business with my college thingy
6. To not always 'demotivated' at work
7. Find a better job
Well ... Thats all that I can think for now ... but Im sure it never hurt to add few more afterwards right? We live our life everyday ...and every single day we see hope and wish to improve ouselves!
Happy New Year. May us be blessed this new year with happness, joy, love, success, health, prosperous!
What did I achieve in year 2008?
Honestly, it was not a good year and also not that bad as well
So let just leave the past behind and look forward for another year ahead
New Year Resolution?
I have few in my mind;
1. Save up money and travel to Japan by end of year
2. Save up money and buy new laptop
3. Master and brush up my Japanese language skills
4. Become a better person in every single way
5. Settle the 'unfinished' business with my college thingy
6. To not always 'demotivated' at work
7. Find a better job
Well ... Thats all that I can think for now ... but Im sure it never hurt to add few more afterwards right? We live our life everyday ...and every single day we see hope and wish to improve ouselves!
Happy New Year. May us be blessed this new year with happness, joy, love, success, health, prosperous!